Forced Marriage: Post #1

See my first post in this series on cousin marriages here.

I’ll start out by quoting from Amnesty International’s reports about forced marriages in Pakistan as well as what sometimes happens if a woman marries someone of her own choice. Please note that even one such case is heartbreaking, but as always it is not the complete story. There are obviously happily married couples in Pakistan and a lot of them marry of their own accord (usually arranged by parents, though that is changing in the big cities). Those as always remain below our radar both because they don’t constitute a news story and because we focus on the cases of maltreatment. I also do not want to say that women’s rights are in good shape in Pakistan because they definitely are not. Usually however the problems are much deeper and look much more benign on a cursory look than the extreme cases in these excerpts will show.

According to a report by Amnesty International,

Shazia R.’s father arranged a forced marriage for her with a man more than twice her age. When 21-year-old Shazia refused to marry this man, her father beat her severely. Fearing that he would attempt to kill her, she ran away. She found refuge at Panah, a women’s refuge in Karachi set up with donations from several AI sections. Shazia has been staying at the shelter for two months and is extremely happy that she has been able to find safety.

In their report “Pakistan: Insufficient Protection of Women”:

During a visit to Pakistan in April 2000, a man approached Amnesty International delegates in a small Sindh town explaining that he and an adult woman wanted to get married but both partners had been promised in marriage as small children to their respective cousins. The prospective couple were aware of their right under the law to marry but feared violence including deaths at the hands of their relatives if they went ahead. Both partners loved their parents and did not wish to antagonize them but saw no way to claim their rights. Asked about how they had come to know of their rights, the young man reported that in his generation everyone knew their rights; in some cases, prospective couples had run away to ascertain their right and the news of this had contributed to the general awareness. Another couple approached Amnesty International in Karachi at that time; they had been underground for almost a year after a court marriage which the wife’s family did not approve of. They had threatened to find the wife and kill her wherever she might try to hide. More recently, several couples who had married of their own choice and who have since then been living underground and others who were about to get married but feared for their lives, sent e-mail messages to Amnesty International asking for advice on where they might be safe. Another couple who have left the country after receiving threats from the wife’s family without whose consent they had got married, sought Amnesty International’s help in their asylum application.

[…]In its meeting in September 2001 the Council of Islamic Ideology asserted that parents should ascertain the will of their daughters before arranging their marriages but reportedly also said that Islam has given the power to family elders to punish family members including wives and children if they were found to be involved in unethical activities. The advice appears to ignore that the law already requires that women freely consent to their marriages.

[…]While most marriages in Pakistan are arranged by both spouses’ parents, forced marriages continue to be reported. The judiciary in Pakistan has in some cases upheld the right of women to refuse a forced marriage. Very early age at marriage of girls continued to be reported despite legal provisions which fix the minimum age of marriage for girls at 16 and boys at 18. Early marriage denies girls the right to the right to education needed to prepare for adulthood; it also means premature pregnancy with its associated risks. Moreover child marriages must be assumed to be forced marriages as young girls cannot be assumed to be able to give free and full consent to the marriage. Sexual intercourse within forced marriages always constitutes rape.

Pakistani women living abroad continue to be abducted by their parents to be forcibly married to grooms in Pakistan. Usually deprived of their travel documents on arrival they find it difficult in an alien environment to obtain help to escape. 18-year old K. from Manchester who holds British nationality, was taken in April 2001 to Azad Jammu and Kashmir by her parents who told her they were together going on a holiday. In early August she was married to a man she did not know or want; a week later her parents left for the UK taking with them her identity papers. Fearing violence in the family of her in-laws, she hid with friends and contacted a UK based lawyer who succeeded in obtaining emergency travel documents from UK authorities. The young woman returned to the UK in late August 2001.

My anecdotal experience with the immigrant communities suggests that some of the immigrants do not assimilate (I am talking here of the people who immigrated themselves and not their children) and are actually fixed in their cultural mores to the time when they immigrated. In the meantime, the values and traditions of their original home have changed drastically. It is like time has stood still for them. These are probably the sort of immigrants who force their children to marry without consent.

Women who marry men of their own choice are frequently seen to damage their family’s ‘honour’; they are frequently detained by their parents, forcibly married to someone else, threatened, humiliated, assaulted or killed. If they chose to get married in court against the will of their parents, they may be charged, along with their husbands, with ‘illicit’ sexual relations under the country’s Zina [adultery/fornication] Ordinance if their parents do not recognize the legality of the marriage. The Zina Ordinance criminalizes zina, ‘fornication’, i.e. heterosexual relations between consenting adults outside marriage. The legality of a marriage is often difficult to prove for a couple who chose this form of marriage. Courts do not mandatorily maintain records of marriages which could be used to prove that a marriage was lawfully contracted. Women’s rights activists have therefore urged that certain procedureal requirements be made compulsory: that proper record of court marriages be maintained by the courts; that courts intimate the area police station of such marriage so that no criminal complaint of unlawful sexual relations can be registered; the courts should also inform the family concerned about a marriage having been lawfully contracted.

[…]On 25 August 2001, 22-year-old Hifza Kakar was shot dead by her brother at the gate of a sessions court in Quetta where police had escorted her from the local Darul Aman. Hifza had married Fayyaz Moon of her own free will in 1998 but her parents filed a criminal complaint against her husband in Pishin police station alleging that he had abducted her and committed zina. The couple were arrested by police in Faisalabad. During hearings before a sessions judge in Quetta Hifza asserted that she had not been abducted but had validly married Fayyaz of her own free will. The court reserved the judgment which was to be announced on 25 August. After the shootout, the court said that the couple were acquitted of all charges. Hifza Kakar’s brother was arrested.

Dozens of women pay with their lives when they claim their right to decide their own marriages:

In March 2000, Deeba Shaw, a 15-year-old girl in Chenaser Goth, Sindh province was shot dead by her family when they found out that she had married her neighbour without their knowledge. Her husband fled when he heard of her murder.

On 6 March 2000, 19-year-old Samina, married six months earlier and four-months pregnant, and her husband Tanveer Faisal were shot dead in their home in Jharanwala village, Sialkot district, by her brother as her family had opposed the marriage. No one is known to have been arrested.

Often couples believe themselves safe if they escape threats immediately after their wedding. Sometimes women’s groups try and mediate between the families to settle the conflict while the couple are in hiding. In many cases, families ultimately accept the fact of the marriage, especially once sons are born. However, sometimes their sense of shame is not appeased. Robina and Khushi Mohammad of Marianwala village in Gujranwala district were hunted down and killed in May 2000 by Robina’s uncle and two brothers over two years after their wedding against the wishes of her family; they had been in hiding but had finally returned to the husband’s home.

[…]Kubran Bibi was married by her parents without her consent to a man in village Chhedu, Punjab province, in 1999 but was divorced within a few months; her father then married her to Iqbal in her home village Rangeelpur of Manga Mandi, Lahore, again without her consent. When she was repeatedly beaten by Iqbal, she left him on 30 January 2001 and sought refuge in the private women shelter ‘Dastak’ in Lahore. Kubran Bibi told ‘Dastak’ staff at the time of her admission that she had not been consulted before either marriage and that her father had taken money for them; as her second husband was already married and used to beat her severely, she could neither go back to her parents nor to her husband but sought shelter and assistance to file for divorce. She expressed her fear of both her own relatives and her in-laws, all of whom had threatened her. While at Dastak, she was visited by her sister, brother-in-law and a cousin on 9 February 2001 and again by her father and sister on 16 February. She returned with them to her father’s home on the same day.

On 25 March 2001, as she was sleeping in the courtyard of the family home, Kubran Bibi was shot dead. According to press reports her cousin Ashiq killed her in the name of ‘honour’. An FIR (126/2001) was lodged by her father in police station Manga Mandi on 25 March 2001; it named Kubran Bibi’s cousin Mohammad Ashiq as the accused; he obtained pre-arrest bail. Kubran Bibi’s brother and brother-in-law were named as eye witnesses.

The HRCP [Human Rights Commission of Pakistan] concluded, ”the killing of a woman, Kubran Bibi who had recently left the women’s shelter ‘Dastak’ indicates how precarious the position of women is in a situation where even their closest relatives present a threat to them. It also points to the difficulties for those providing shelter to women in an attempt to offer some protection from the dangers they face.”

In some cases men have killed divorced women such as former wives or daughters or single female relatives of whose conduct they disapprove. In February 2000, Iliyas shot dead his daughter Shakeela in village Garjakh, Gujranwala district. Shakeela was living with her divorced mother who had consented to the young woman’s marriage to a man of her choice. In a similar case, a man killed his widowed sister Hoor Begum on 22 October 2000 in Nawabshah district because he disagreed with her choice for her daughter of a man from another community.

[…]’Honour’ killings occasioned by a woman seeking divorce also occur among the expatriate Pakistani community. In February 2001, Nawaz Bhatti was sentenced to death in Clairsville, Ohio, USA, for the murder of his wife Dr Lubaina Bhatti, her father, her sister and her niece in September 1999 in what Nawaz Bhatti perceived to be the defence of his ‘honour’ injured by a disloyal wife. Lubaina Bhatti had been persuaded to consent to the arranged marriage with Nawaz Bhatti in 1992 perhaps out of respect for her parents’ wishes. However, over the next years she filed domestic violence charges against her husband but did not pursue these for fear that he would abduct their son to Pakistan. In February 1999 she filed for divorce and when he continued to harass her, filed for protection in May 1999. On 11 September 1999, only a few days before the divorce was to be finalized, Bhatti shot her dead along with family members whom he believed to have helped her.

[…]Bakhtwar, an 18-year-old woman of the Pathan tribe from Perumal, Sanghar district, Sindh, on 8 July 2000 married Roshan Junejo, a man from the Junejo tribe, before a magistrate in Nawabshah. Her father, Qamruddin, strongly objected to the marriage as he had earlier accepted a marriage proposal for Bakhtwar from a kinsman, Akbar Pathan, which reportedly involved the payment of a large bride price consisting of Rs. 400,000 and two of Akbar Pathan’s five daughters. Bakhtwar’s mother had reportedly met and approved of Bakhtwar’s choice for a spouse. Bakhtwar did not want to marry Akbar Pathan as he was elderly, married and had a daughter older than Bakhtwar. Besides, Bakhtwar wanted to marry Roshan Junejo.

The couple following their wedding were sheltered by relatives but were found by Pathan tribesmen when trying to flee to another village. Bakhtwar was taken against her will to a relative, Fikir Mohammad Pathan in Sanghar who held her in quasi-detention. At the time, Bakhtwar’s family and several elders of the tribe gave written assurances to the Junejos that Bakhtwar would not be harmed and allowed to appear in court at a date fixed earlier for a hearing, 19 July, to state freely if she wanted to stay with her husband or with her family. They said they would respect her choice.

Meanwhile several hundred Pathan tribesmen gathered at Sanghar protesting against Bakhtwar’s disobedience and twice attacked the house where she was held, apparently with the intention to kill her. The tribesmen denounced the marriage and insisted on protecting the family’s ‘honour’ by declaring they would not allow Bakhtwar to approach the court. A spokesperson said: ”We will protect our honour. It is our tradition and part of our culture, irrespective of what the people say.”

On 18 July night, a jirga of the Pathan and Junejo tribes gathered, apparently at or near the residence of a former Member of the National Assembly (MNA) Haji Khuda Bux Rajar and decided that the girl should stay with her parents. The Pathan tribe promised the Junejo tribe that she would not be harmed if her husband agreed to divorce her and allowed her to be returned to her parents. Bakhtwar’s parents are reported to have sworn on the Qur’an not to harm their daughter. Roshan Junejo who had gone into hiding for fear of his life, was brought to the meeting and on hearing this assurance, signed the divorce papers, presumably under considerable duress. Newspaper reported on 20 July that Bakhtwar was escorted by police to Quetta where a part of the family lives.

[…]Among the positive judgments was the Lahore High Court ruling of January 2001 that a woman cannot be forced to live with her husband or her parent against her will. The court responded to a petition by Shahnaz Akhter which alleged that she had been forced to marry a man, her cousin, whom she did not choose or agree to marry and that she feared for her life if she was sent back to her parents where she said her brothers would kill her. The court directed that she be lodged in the local state-run shelter, the Darul Aman, where no one would be allowed to meet her without her consent. Months earlier, Shahnaz had written to the High Court complaining that her family was getting her married without her consent; the court had taken note of this but sent her back to her family after her brothers pledged before the court to respect her wish. Days later she was forced to marry the man her brothers had selected. Shahnaz Akhter had then appealed again to the High Court, saying: ”In the days before Islam, girls were buried alive. Now they are sold like sheep and goats. I have been sold to a man I never wanted to live with. What kind of Islam is this? I am a very unlucky woman who has been thrown to the wolves. My marriage is cruel and arbitrary.”

[…]The Sindh High Court circuit bench in Hyderabad on 21 September 2000 ordered the registration of a kidnapping and murder charge against the father and mother of Uzma Talpur, on a constitutional petition filed by Nasir Mehmood, husband of Uzma Talpur after police on numerous occasions failed to bring her to court. Nasir Mehmood, a student of Tandojam Agricultural University, and Uzma Talpur got married of their own choice on 14 November 1998 in Khairpur before a magistrate as the Talpur family disapproved of the marriage. The couple then went to Punjab province where they were arrested in Jhelum on 30 November 1998 by Hyderabad police on a kidnapping and zina charge; Uzma was subsequently handed over to her parents. Nasir Mehmood stated that police maltreated him in custody and took away the wedding certificate. When the kidnapping charge against Nasir Mehmood was heard before the Karachi High Court, the Talpur family undertook on 6 April 1999 to bring their daughter to the court but failed to do so repeatedly. The mater was then transferred to the Hyderabad bench of the High Court where, on 12 May 2000, the court was informed by Uzma’s father, Gul Mohammad Talpur,, that he had brought her to court on 20 April 1999 but that she had been kidnapped by four unknown persons. The Station House Officer of Cantonment police station, however stated that no woman had been kidnapped on that day. Despite this, another FIR alleging kidnapping was registered against Nasir Mehmood. The court issued several search orders to recover Uzma Talpur but to date she has not been found.

Most of these cases involve use of force, especially deadly force. This is however not the common practice. Most often, the pressure for or against marriage is an emotional one. Parents routinely do not ask their daughter’s opinion about a marriage prospect, assuming that she will accept. They try to emotionally blackmail their children (both guys and girls) to marry the person the parents have chosen or not to marry the person the child has decided on. If someone, especially a woman, marries of their own accord, they are socially cut off from their family. This boycott often ends after a while, especially a the married couple get a kid of their own (as mentioned in the excerpt).

One question that arises out of this discussion is how to define forced marriage. Is it forced only when physical force is applied? Or is a marriage forced, when the consent is not completely freely given whether the pressure was physical or emotional? I would go with the second definition. This brings a lot of cases not discussed in human rights reports because they are much milder, difficult to prove and very common. Arranged marriages play into this to some extent as well.

Next: Islamic injunctions about marriage, discussion of arranged marriage.

Author: Zack

Dad, gadget guy, bookworm, political animal, global nomad, cyclist, hiker, tennis player, photographer

78 thoughts on “Forced Marriage: Post #1”

  1. I can’t believe that there are men on this site asking for ‘Help’ to find a strange women to marry as long as she has western citizenship so that they can have it to. Where do men and parents of men and women like this get off? Women are not cattle, not for sale. This has nothing to do with religion or even culture for that matter. This is an easy way for men to get a passport into a country they would like to live or a country parents would like their children to live. Honour killings are disgusting you give life to a person you cannot extend you life through your children or your sisters cousins etc. They have a right to marry and be happy. I have been disowned by my Iranian father because I will not marry my boyfriend..what has it to so with him? My mother (who divorced my father 11 yrs ago is British I have lived in England all my life so no culture of my Father’s should be imposed on me.

  2. I was one of the Pakistani women who had grown up in Pakistan with a very liberal background. My parents taught me in the best co-ed schools, and always taught me that I was better than all the men out there. I was the kinda of person who NEVER wanted to get married young, and that too by an arranged marriage. I was too independant and level headed for such an event. However, when I was 18, I got a proposal from someone my parents really liked and respected. They did not want me to marry that young, but they felt that the match was perfect and did not want to let go of it either. They left the decision up to me, and I felt I was too young or inexperienced in the matter, also I trusted my parents completely and went with their decision. I am now VERY happily married with my husband. Sometimes I feel scared, because my husband and I would never have met if we hadn’t had an arranged marriage (we have very different interests). I realize not all marriages turn out to be successful, but most do and I am a living example.

  3. hi,
    my name is raja imran.i want such a person who become sinsior with me on every topic and i want to share all the personalproblems and the opinions with her.

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  5. Forced Marriage in Islam: Post #2

    Previous Posts of this series: Cousin Marriage and Forced Marriage in Pakistan. I did some research for this post. Actually, I asked my sister to tell me what Abdur Rahman Al-Jazairi had to say about the topic in his book…

  6. Commenters Looking for Marriage

    I don’t understand how much interested/desperate some of my commenters are for marriage that they are not only looking for a spouse online, they are asking about it on a page about forced marriage. Here are some samples. SANT5OSH: WANT…

  7. hello every body my nam eis aamir rao i am 20 years old and i going to uk soon but first i want to maaraig some one in pakistan .if u have intrass me so contact me on my mob phone my no is 03453119040

  8. i m graduate in computer science and having excellent job.but at this time ,i m willing to find out a sincear,smart with atrective face muslim girl of englend or german.if any onyone is agreed which is have age 19 to 26 then she will contect on my e-mail.searcher nadeem sheikh…..

  9. I am 29 years of age, mature but young at heart, working in National Airlines in PIA Karachi Airport as a Admin Supervisor, and now feel ready to settle down with someone special. Parents have started organizing visits for Marriage n all, which I have no problem with, but finding the right match with a good family background is not easy and being on Marriage, I hope, will aid in the process. Parents are very open minded and as long as they are involved at some stage they are more than be happy for me to look for someone. Describing ones self is not easy but id say I m a very respectful, caring/sharing and understanding person with a cool temperament. I guess I m a pritty straight foward, uncomplicated guy and quite moderate in my ways. I have learnt a great deal and respect from family/traditional values, which has made me a very much balanced induvidual. Quite modern with strong traditional traits is the best way to sum me up. I am looking for a life partner who comes from an equally loving and respectable family. Someone who is smart in appearance, educated and aged between 24 and 35. I am moderatley religious and live my life within islamic boundaries so like me, would want someone with a good mix of east and west. Best regards. Rehan Yaqoob. If you are interested me please call my cell. +92-333-3492758 & +92-3212566169 and my hotmail id is rehan_pkpk@hotmail.com

  10. ASSALAM O ALAIKUM,
    MY NAME IS SAYYED SAMEER & I M FROM INDIA (MUMBAI) & FROM LAST 9 YEARS I M LIVING IN SAUDIA ARABIA ON A WORKING PERMIT.
    I LOVE A GRIL SHE IS PAKISTANI. HER FAMILY THEY ARE ALSO LEAVING IN SAUDIA ARABIA.
    I M MUSLIM & FROM A GOOD FAMILY.
    NOW I WILL TELL U ABT THE PROMBLEMS.
    PROMBLEM IS HER PARENTS ARE ACCEPTING OUR MARRIAGE PROPOSAL BCZ WE LOVE EACH OTHER & JUST BCZ I M INDIAN & NOT VERY RICH.
    LET ME ALSO TELL U THT THE GIRL I LOVE IS ABOVE 18 YEARS.
    HER MOTHER OBJECT ON OUR MARRIAGE & TELL HER DAUGHTER WITH FORCE & MENTALLY TORCHERING HER
    TELLING HER THT I M NOT RICH & I CANNOT KEEP HER HAPPY.
    I WANT TO MARRY THT GIRL BCZ I LOVE HER.CAN ANYONE TELL ME HOW SHOULD I MAKE HER MOTHER UNDERSTAND THT I M HONEST WITH HER DAUGHTER & WILL LOVE HER TILL MY DEATH.
    I WORKING IN A REPUTATED COMPANY WITH A SALARY OF 2500SR PER MONTH AFTER MARRIED I WILL ALSO BE PROVIDED A FAMILY STATUS WHICH WILL MAKE MY SALARY TILL 3500SR PLZ HELP ME BCZ MY LOVE SAYS IF HER PARENTS DO NOT AGREE, SHE CANNOT MARRY ME IF THEY AGREE ONLY THEN SHE CAN MARRY ME.I PRAY TO ALLAH 5 TIMES & SPECIALLY AT NIGHT IN TAHAJUT & MAKE DUWA TO ALLAH TO MAKE HER PARENTS SOFT HEART FROM MY SIDE & MARRY THEIR DAUGHTER TO ME. IF U CAN HELP & GUIDE ME I WILL HIGHLY APPRICATE. PLUS ONE MORE THING NOW THE GRIL IS IN KARACHI FOR HER EDUCATION
    BCZ SHE IS IN MEDICAL COLLEGE HER MOTHER THING & WANT HER TO MARRY A DOCTOR ONLY. IS THIS LEGAL IN ISLAM

  11. Men are being forced to marry in Pakistan as well especially in the villages by their Family where they follow culture rather than Islam and they have no problem distoring Islamic text to suit their own desires with no regard for their son’s or daughter’s desires either! Even the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) forbid such forced marriages and encouraged their annulment…such as with Kansa’a who was forced to marry.

    I am muslim and married to my husband for 7+ years. Recently this year he went to Pakistan to visit his parents with my full approval and trust. Our Nikah was that he would never take another wife. Well, upon his trip to Pakistan he was literally sabotaged by his parents, aunt, and her son into marrying his cousin. They begged and pleaded and cried with hands clasped together for him to do them this BIG favor as they had 2 daughters who were not married and their father was on his death bed. They said they were living with great shame in the community of having 2 unmarried daughters in the mid & late 20s. The older sister of the girl my husband was forced to marry has been engaged to another cousin for 15 years who lives in American too and does not want to marry his cousin so he simply has given one excuse after another not to return to Pakistan and not to marry by proxy either. Needless to say his defiance and refusal has caused a major uproar in the village. Personally, I would wonder what is wrong with these girls that no single men in the village would marry them. As my husband’s first wife and according to our Nikah I have the right to leave my husband according to Islam. I have given my husband a choice…her or me…I will not stay in a polygamous marriage even though he swore on the Quran that he will never return to Pakistan again without me and that he has no desire to be with this woman. This 2nd marriage has destroyed my trust in my husband and has bittered my heart against his family in Pakistan who could have cared less about my husbands pleading with them to not make him do this thing because he loved me and would never leave me. They know what they have done has broken our hearts but they think that their will is Shar’ah and that what is done is done and that we don’t have a choice in the matter. My husband is looking into how he can divorce his cousin without causing a major war in the Village. Not an easy thing to do since the girl’s brother is married for many years to my husband’s sister…etc. etc. etc. As you can see Islam has nothing to do with what they do in the villages. Forced marriages exist, quid pro quo marriages exist, polygamy is pushed by parents if it benefits them even though Islam tells us that a man can only marry more than 1 wife under very strict conditions and while polygamy is Islamically accepted it is not encouraged or suggested. There is one man in my husband’s village who has 2 wives. He is the subject of much snickering and ridicule behind his back in the village and is ostrisized by the community in which he lives as if he is a leper. Surely, my in-laws did not “truly” think this was in their son’s best interest but rather gives them a slave girl to wait on them and forces my husband to send money to them to care for this so called wife though my hubby says he will not send them any money for a wife he didn’t want, insha’allah.

  12. I don’t get why girls can marry earlier than males in just about every country on earth! Because they are more delicate and in need of the protection by men from men, they ought to be married as children, when they are even more vulnerable? That has to change. If one must wait longer to marry, it should be the woman, for her own sheltering from predators.

  13. I also do not agree with marrying a woman to help her out financially. That is never a good reason for a woman to give herself away, body and soul. Food, drink, shelter, etc., are free in Paradise. I have never even dated any of the women I treat as neighbors, no matter what the expense was to myself. Marriage should be for a Love that is unrelated to finances. I would like to see more men just helping orphans and widows out remaining mere neighbors to them.

  14. It’s disgusting that people (obviously many coming from the unfortunate family situations discussed in this blog) are using the comments section as a “dating site.” For example: “I am looking for a Nice and Caring Life Partner in Canada, America, Japan, and particulary in England who is well established, well settled, educated, simple, polite/good-natured, sincere, responsible, broad minded, believes in mutual understanding and appreciates equality in marriage relationship” WTF?! OKAY Can you make it ANY more obvious you’re looking for a green card and some good, honest Muslim girl to prey on?!

  15. I am 25 years old and doing my service in Government Sector and i just only want to contribue some comments that the fact of marriage is not truely dependent on love or arrange it depends on one’s own furtune, i am also want to marry to whom i love but now i am seeing/wondering that truely THE ALIMGHTY ALLAH WILL GAVE ME WHAT I WANT AND SHOWERS HIS COUNTLESS BOUNTIES UPON ME AND EVERYONE AAMMEENN. One must not discourage unless the time will be out of his reach. Thanks

  16. I am in an arranged marriage agreement with a Roman Catholic priest. The big jackass intends to laicize early on (about age 54) and marry me. This will be my second and his first marriage. Well, I fully intend to commit anathema in my religion. I am of the opinion that you do not have to marry anyone you do not want to marry. I really despise my stupid, senile Irish grandmother for getting me into this before I was born. The minute I moved into this guy’s parish after my divorce I knew it was all over. The Pope and my Cardinal got involved. I had a betrothal, I “had” to marry him. To hell with the fella. My absconding plan consists of moving to Europe and perhaps being an heiress for the rest of my life. I was “unhenched” by this man through put-downs, emotional cruelty, and harassment (stealing my favorite painting, lying about me, taking many articles of clothing, and getting me so depressed I literally could not take care of myself for almost a year. I am almost fully recovered from this depression and intend to move on. Wish me luck!

  17. you no sumfin ive not even read the whole story wat u have written or stories but i will assure you we are the biggest fcking hypocrites on dis fcking planet….we can neva practice what we preach ……….we claim we are this and the other sum mullah with a big beard or sum fcking clown will cum along and try tellin me dat im wrong for behaving the way i am…..but you no sumfin …….fck you and your lecture cuz ov our so called beleifez oure religion i will never doubt but our culture iz completely fcked up……..now sum clown iz gna cum along and try lecturing me but let me tell you….cuz of your 55 second lecture ive missed out on 7 and half yearz ov me sonz life so pleaze save ure lecture 4 sum fckin clown who u fink ….willl sit nd fink ….helll ye he or she wz rite.

  18. How can a woman in Pakistan even have a chance to “find” a husband that she likes herself, if she is raised from childhood to be a helpless, isolated creature, mostly uneducated and totally dependent on obeying her family will to survive? She has to chance to meet men by herself and she has no experience that can help her to understand which man would be good for her, can understand her and make her happy. Her marriage is a lottery where she has to “buy the pig in a poke”, her husband is a complete stranger in most cases and she can only pray for that he is not treating her like shit and as a servant like MOST of the men there are treating their pakistani wife after some while. I know what im talking about because I (married to a pakistani)have been in Pakistan many times and Im feeling absolutely sorry for all the women there. Even if they do not have to work to earn their living I would not like to live their life trapped in a cage, only safe if they behave as they are expected to.
    Nothing is giving more honor and life quality than a free choice of life and economical independence. Love can only live and grow in freedom.

  19. I really love this guy,but he is muslim and im not a muslim,Im willing to be muslim,coz i do love him.But he has big problem about his Family relations,coz the Parents want to marry her cousin,But he doesn’t want to marry her cousin,How can we tell to the parents that we love each other,that we need to marry,We are suffering for this kind of agreement coz of his Culture,Why they give a FREEDOM to be love who wants to be with all your life.I think ALLAH will not be happy for that kind of CULTURE coz They not happy for the kind of marriage both persons,WHY you NEED to FORCE one persons?LET HIM GO!!!DON”T BE POLISH**DON”T BE SELFISH***BE A GOOD SERVANT SO “ALLAH” will be Happy for that.

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