Vote to Heaven

Via the Head Heeb comes this report of God focussing attention on the Malaysian elections since the football (American) season is over.

Is God a swinging voter in this month’s Malaysian elections?

An unholy row has broken out between the ruling coalition and the Islamist opposition over which side the Prophet Mohammed will be barracking for in the March 21 polls.

An opposition state premier has claimed those who voted for his Parti Islam Se-Malaysia (PAS) would get to heaven while those who voted for parties in the ruling Barisan Nasional coalition were heading for hell.

“It is stated in the Koran that those who rally behind Islam are also those who want to live under divine laws laid down by Allah,” said Nik Aziz Nik Mat, the premier of northern Kelantan state.

“Naturally, they will go to heaven for choosing an Islamic party, while those who support un-Islamic parties will logically go to hell.”

The Prime Minister, Abdullah Badawi, on the other hand, “pray[s] to Allah, asking him to ensure the Barisan Nasional wins a big majority.”

Former Prime Minister Mahathir Muhammad struck back at the PAS leader.

“I want to ask Nik Aziz, when is he going to heaven to see if those who voted for the party made it there?” Dr Mahathir said. “If it is true, then rogues and rapists will surely go to heaven if they vote for the party.”

While Mahathir wants Nik Aziz to go to the heavens, the Malaysian election authorities had a more corporeal warning in mind.

Malaysia’s Election Commission warned that parties promising heavenly rewards for votes were breaking the law, and offending candidates could be disqualified from parliament.

In response, Mr Aziz said: “PAS will keep using the heaven issue.”

By Zack

Dad, gadget guy, bookworm, political animal, global nomad, cyclist, hiker, tennis player, photographer

5 comments

  1. As long as they do not produce any threats to world peace, let slpeening dogs lie.

  2. Hello
    I asked ” Veiled4allah” (which I got your weblog address from her weblog) the following question; she said she doesn’t like this topic, but she also didn’t introduce somebody who may be able to asnwer it to me, now I paste the same question here (all the pronouns refer to “Veiled4allah” , which I originally wrote the thing to) ; I would be grateful that in case you do not answer it, at least you introduce some knowlegeable person who will. thanks.

    “If you remember, months ago I asked you this question:
    If Muslims believe that Muhammad is the last prophet but Jesus will return one day to earth; then he will be a prophet after Muhammad on earth, and your answer was that, in that case, he is not a new prophet, but the return of a previous one. Here are my questions:
    1)So based on what you say, the phrase “ the last prophet” in Koran, means, the last prophet God has MADE, not the last prophet God has SENT, right?
    (In other words, when Jesus returns, he will be A PROPHET AFTER MUHAMMAD ON EARTH, but the only thing is that he is not made a prophet after Muhammad, but in fact, this happened before Muhammad’s time)
    2) Is it possible that God ascends Jesus again and returns him again and the cycle goes on and on, or Muslims believe that it was only for one time?
    3)When Jesus returns, he may write or he may talk and others will write what he recites, and the resulting writings will be SOME DIVINE WRITINGS AFTER KORAN. Do Muslims believe that there won’t be any divine BOOK after Koran, or that also there won’t be any kind of divine WRITINGS after Koran?
    4) Do Muslims believe that he may change Islamic laws? If yes, how far can he go?
    There’s a big dispute among Iranian Muslim scholars about Ejtehad (deriving new laws according to new situations from older laws); some believe that it should only be done in foroo (less important laws ),while others believe that it should also be done to Osool ( more important or fundamental laws of religion, like obligatory prayer and fasting and head covering). Now will Jesus have more authority than Muslim clergies , or it cannot be more than that?
    5)Do Muslims believe that he will come in the same physical form he had back then?(considering the fact that it will be of no help in recognizing him, since nobody living today has seen him and there is no definite description of it in history).
    6) Do Muslims believe that he should come from sky , or he also may be born again?
    I stop here , it’s too long already. I can’t wait to read your answers.”

  3. Mike: Agreed. I just find it funny when sports teams, politicians, etc. call God on their side.

    Farid: Your question is off-topic and completely outside my expertise. However, here is a try at a reply.

    1. I think the Muslim position is that Jesus will not return as a prophet in his own right but as a follower of Muhammad and Islam.
    2. Muslims believe return of Jesus will only be once.
    3. Jesus’s writings cannot and will not be divine since he’s not god. Not sure about your differentiation between divine writings and books.
    4. The orthodox position is that Jesus will return as a follower of Islam. So my guess is that all the laws of Islam will apply to him and he can’t change the basic character of the religion.
    5. I have no idea.
    6. I don’t know. The return of Jesus idea has been used by a number of heterodox Islamic groups over the past few centuries. For example, the Ahmadiyya.

    If you really want to talk to someone more knowledgeable about this, may be you could try some of the Islamic websites. For example, Moiz Amjad.

  4. Farid, if I don’t know anybody who is qualified to address the issue, I can hardly introduce you to them. Perhaps you are under a misconception that I am someone who is very well-connected and knows all sorts of scholars. I am sorry to disappoint you.

    I had hoped that this discussion (off-topic on my blog as well) was over; I am rather surprised to find you attaching my name to it on someone else’s blog. I already gave you my position in our earlier discussion and am not interested in the topic any further, as I hoped that I made clear. I would really appreciate it if you would leave me out of this in the future. Thank you.

    As to the original topic of Zack’s post, what really concerns me is some of the people in America like that General Boykin who seem to think that God has chosen Bush as president. Presumably, a vote against Bush is a vote against God in their minds. I thought we were a lot better than that here in America.

  5. Zack

    thanks for your answers, I appreciate that you tried to help, and I think you did to some extent.

Comments are closed.